Why do I want to write?

This question seems simple enough, but every time I try and answer it in my own head I make it more and more complicated. So I figured I’d try to put it into words. The easy answer, that deep down might be the case, is because I think I would be really good at it and can leverage it into something beneficial to me. But, while that might make the most sense on the surface I am not positive I actually believe it. I am realistic enough to know that I can write hundreds of thousands of words that nobody will ever read or care about.

So if I am not going to profit off of it, and it isn’t a viable career path, it must be something else. There are two additional reasons that I can think of that might make some sense; either I want to do it for myself as some sort of thought therapy, or I am so enlightened that I want to do it for other people.

Lets start with the latter because it comes off as extremely egotistical. Basically the premise for this reason would be that I think or understand the world from a more aware, different, or complete point of view and that it is my duty to share that perspective with other people for their benefit. I wish I was humble enough to say with full authority that I do not totally believe this to be true. It is the same reason people start their own podcasts, create fitness instagram accounts, snapchat, or post on any social media really, because of this inherent and somewhat natural characteristic of humans that they are the center of the world. I can say that my thoughts and ideas matter no more or no less than any single other person’s on this planet, but do I truly believe myself when I say it? I don’t know.

Another and maybe the most important reason to start writing is because I enjoy it. It is easy to spend hours upon hours, of thoughts rushing through the mind like a city-traffic time lapse, without ever realizing what was actually there. Writing could be a gateway to deconstruct and analyze these thoughts and ideas. The next logical question would then be why post these online and make them public if truly only for thought retrospection. It is like why do people post weight-loss goals on public forums, accountability. I have tried the journaling thing before and it is not for me. The goal of posting online is hopefully it will force me to write.

That is my long-winded way of saying (and proving to myself) that I am going to start writing. There will be no schedule or consistency in length/topic for any of these posts. The grammar will be subpar (though not as bad as PFTCommenter), but I will at least pick somewhat interesting topics and try to look at them through a unique lens.

Halfway through writing this post I thought about xing out my browser and avoiding the accountability before I even start. But by doing this, maybe I will finally answer my question of why I want to write.